What Would Integra Do?

A friend of mine had this advisory teacher one year in high school, who I must say, was a teacher you would think only existed in the movies...her name was "Ms. Hensen" and I've heard my fill of stories about her. But there is something really incredible about this woman I admire and I'll tell you why...

Now, this is the first day of my friend's class:

Ms. Hensen:
"Hullo class, my name is here Ms. Hensen, and lemme tell ya two things 'bout me.
 Numba one, this here teachin' job is just a "steppin' stone" if ya will. I run my own makeup bussssiness on tha side...and it's called beat yo face!"
She looks dead straight, raising her pimp hand in the air and goes on to say..
"Numba two: I ain't gonna lie to ya...I ain't gonna be here next year...I'm gowin' places!"

And that was her introduction to one of the most entertaining years for my friend.

That was a few years ago and so recently, my friend was browsing facebook and sort of as a joke typed in Ms. Hensen's full name to see what she came up with. Under Ms. Hensen popped up this other name...

"Integra Foxx"

So as she browsed she began to realize that this "Integra" was in fact her previous Advisory teacher! She called me over frantically, half choking, half laughing as she clicked through pictures of a curvy african american woman in all out  tribal disco clothes with about 3/4s of her cleavage exposed on a stage with crazy colored lights rippling across her half naked body.

She barely could sputter out enough words to make sense, but finally, as I was beginning to wonder why on earth she was looking through this clearly insane woman's photos, she coughs out..

"She taught me!!"

Say what?

I was in disbelief that woman could ever have been a teacher of all things. She looked like she could have been part of some modern zulu tribe. We clicked through more photos, and just about bust a gut from all the laughing. There were some pretty risky and wild pictures in there and I have to say, this woman really lived without any reservations!

Then I repeated those words in my head....this woman really lives without any reservations...

Which brings me to how I feel lately. have you ever had this feeling that when you close your eyes, your entire body has a warm sensation running throughout like someone opened your head and just dumped in a pot of hot water?

I only get this feeling whenever I'm trying to figure something out in my life and with the chaos of every day life, it's this one moment where I can just confide in myself. That warm feeling rushes all over and I feel like I can just be alone in my head. I cross my arms and breathe in and out deeply letting the "think" vibes consume me. I'm instantly calmed afterwards.

But, lately, I have tried to do this many times and I can't seem to get a grip on that zen I once was able to encompass so easily. Something is stirring, and I know it's more than just buying new music off itunes to mix things up. So as I keep trying to close my eyes and have my calm moment I wonder...

Why am I trying to have quiet?

Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way. Maybe I'm not supposed to be hushing myself like I do so often. I keep trying to be in control, but now I can't see that I have any. My entire life has been turned upside lately from being physically and emotionally sick.

Now, I need something to help me along. I have decided to ask myself:

WHAT would Integra do?

It is so ridiculous, but I can't think of anyone I've ever heard of or seen that speaks so openly and really lives out loud the way that woman does. I have to admit, I'm jealous that I'm not that bold. So, as I laughed at how silly she seemed, I think I knew even then that I respected and admired her as well for her ability to know what she wants and to tell people that they aren't going to hold her back.

How many times in life to we do something because someone told us that it was right for us. I tell you what Integra would do, she'd whip out some clever retort on how you don't own her and that, honey, YOU just a steppin' stone! Inegra Foxx fears no one and nothing!

So as I begin my day at this ungodly hour of 4:38, I have to wonder if next time I try to shut myself up, will I'll have the courage instead, to listen to all of the question and noise I have going? What is God wanting to do with my life? Where is heading next? What can I do now to enjoy it?

Sometimes we need a method to help us along in life. Mine is:

What Would Integra Do?

I have a feeling I ain't gonna be here next year...

but I'm not afraid of that anymore.

-B