Ok, I'm done complaining.
On the other hand, two weeks of stay-at-home-mom-itis left me with nothing to do but write and make things out of yarn. One of them will make me very rich one day. You'll see!
Anyway, because I've had all day and sometimes all night to sit around and just think about what the outside world must be like, I had one of those classic, "Wait a minute? WHAT am I doing with my life?!" moments.
I'm a student by default, in community college only because I have no idea what university I was meant for. I went to Texas State University last year (turned out NOT to be a great fit). Advice from the experienced but not yet wise: NEVER follow a boyfriend to college. Before I went there, I took a year off and worked as a nanny in Austin (best job EVER) and started dating a guy I knew in high school. We dated for two years. Those two years were kind of like ordering "thai spicy" at a restaurant. Sounds daring and exciting, but in reality it makes you cry and leaves you to deal with lots of painful shit. Fun, I know :)
SO, now I have until Summer of 2011 to decide what to do with my life. In the meantime I'll recover from PLD and finish the last 6 weeks of school, take xmas vaycay, finish 14 more weeks of school, and perhaps make some more things out of yarn!
While I'm completing my associates degree, quite honestly, for the hell of it, I can't help but wonder what I'm supposed to do outside of this "just get it done" mindset I have for school. Don't get me wrong, I love to learn, but there's something that turns me away from it because I'm being graded. What a terrible idea! What kills me is that you can't just get a certificate of completion for simply being genuinely interested. Instead I'm required to take a bunch of mumbo jumbo government classes that clearly has a professor that goes home and makes dinner for one and cries himself to sleep at night. He doesn't love teaching so why should I like learning what he has to tell me? So while I feel as though most my professors are clones of ben stein, I'm supposed to have a hunger to want more, but instead I've got a stomach flu.
Now, What do I do?
Well, what do I love? I must ask myself this first and foremost.
Answer: I love people.
I know what you're thinking: "Nah, really?" hah, OK, so that is a bit vague. But it is true! I love people and everything we are able to create. We are versatile, strong and valuable. We have incredible minds and talents, so what's better to love then something that's constantly changing and adding new perspectives and ideas to our sometimes small lives. We are consistently inconsistent and perfectly imperfect. I love many other things as well, like procrastinating, I'm oh so good at that...
So, What do I do with this?
Answer: I'll let you know, I have to watch this video on youtube first!
One failed college experience and longterm relationship later, I have been given a second chance. I am currently in the waiting room of life, wondering what answers I'll have once it's my turn.
You in?
-B
